Life through hearts guarded PART 2


As I mentioned in my last post, I am so grateful for the friends I have been making and the wonderful people whom I have been meeting since starting Keeper of Hearts. Just recently, I was asked by a beautiful friend Anne what my hopes were with Keeper of Hearts.

"So what kind of change would you like to make in the lives of girls and how would you like to touch lives of girls through your blog?"

Before I tell you my answer, let me first pick up where I left off in PART 1.

Growing up in my family, I wasn't receiving love as I needed during very important years of my development in character and mostly as a child. The depravation left me feeling really confused and lost about life, always wishing for a happy ending and hoping for things to be different. A lot of my childhood was filled with conflict and tension in my family. There was always a fight, an argument or something wasn't done right and the house would be at war. Or so it felt to me. The negativity and tension from the years of my childhood leave me struggling at times to recall happy memories. Not to say that I don't have any, I just have to think hard to try and remember them. The bad ones outweighed the good ones most of the time.

With my confusion and state of 'lostness' I always found myself at crossroads of important and defining moments or decisions. In the end, I almost always made the wrong choice when it came to the possibility of feeling 'so' loved and desired. The decisions led to destructive relationships and giving way too much of myself to somebody I knew or didn't know just, to feel loved and accepted. Each time I thought that I was getting close to fulfilling what was so deprived within me, I ended up being left rejected and hurt. Worse off than the times before. Slowly, I begun to dig a hole which spiraled down into a deep and dark abyss where no one could reach me. There, I was truly alone. Feeling the emptiness from my childhood and the pain from hurtful memories of my past soon collided with the anger, blame and guilt that was cast over my head. There were times where I felt so low that I would fall to the ground and yet, lying on the ground wasn't low enough. I wanted to sink deeper and further into the depths of the dirt because of how low I had felt and how deeply in despair I was.

My desire is not to bring you or drag you into feelings of hopelessness and depression,  but to engage you into my past and how I was brought to such depths. I desire for you to understand where I came from and where others that you may know might come from so that you might come to understand them well.

Finally, when I had found myself not just alone in my heart and in my head, but also in this world, I discovered true life defining grace. My life of solitude in every sphere of my existence and deep sorrow was being uprooted by a mighty hand of grace. I was being saved from the grip of my demons and being made whole, protected from my past. My heart was made new and no longer heavy and black. I had new life given to me, a second chance through restoration and a right relationship with Jesus. He showed my love like I had never knew and it was stronger than any guilt, blame or pain that I had felt. He really did save me..

Now, my heart is protected and kept. Jesus is the keeper of my heart so that I don't ever have to face or feel anything like that again.

So what kind of change would I like to make in the lives of girls?
I want them to know:
Jesus WILL and CAN protect you, I have no doubt in my heart and mind. HIS LOVE IS SO STRONG like none other you have felt or will ever feel and I say this with so much passion in my heart!
His love will strengthen and empower you. He will fight off your demons and cause you to flourish in your life where no adversary can defeat you and nobody will understand how or why. But that doesn't matter. Surrender your heart to Jesus and let him be the only keeper of your heart. I no longer have to fight to be loved anymore because through Him, there is nothing but love to gain.

to be continued...